Grief is a journey we take.

Grieving is a very personal process that follows a loss and each time we grieve, it is different, according to Kelly Baltzell M.A. & Karin Baltzell Ph.D. in "What to Know About Grief". It is hard to know what to expect. Here are some ideas of their ideas to make the process easier for you:

• Grief takes time. While your employer may give you one to three days off following the loss of a loved one to grieve, grieving can take as long as a few years. Don’t expect it to be a short process.
• Grief is painful, intensely so. Grieving is always emotional pain, but it can also be physical. It may surprise you by how intense it is.
• Pass through the pain. Look at it straight on and feel the pain. You really can’t avoid it, go around it bargain with it, or deny it. The sooner you face it, the sooner you will go through the grieving process.
• Grief is emotional and it is a mixture of emotions. The emotions will change and show up at different times and with different mixes. Anger, guilt, confusion, emptiness, sadness, numbness, and despair are all emotions you may feel individually or in combination with one another. You may even think you are losing your mind.
• Know the difference between grief and depression. Grief is normal following a loss. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain which can be treated. If you are crying all the time, can’t get out of bed or take care of your basic needs, please see a doctor right away. If you think about killing yourself, call 911 or go to the Emergency Room as soon as possible.
• Cry. Tears bring healing. Crying after a loss is natural. Do not apologize. It is okay to cry in public or when you are alone. It relieves the pain of grief.
• Grieving takes strength. Initially, it can take all or most of your strength. Scale back on what you expect to accomplish and prioritize your tasks so you only do what is most important. Expect to be tired and don’t feel guilty about doing less.
• Holidays may catch you by surprise if you don’t prepare for them. Anniversaries, birthdays, even places, objects, or people may trigger memories that surround your loss. Be prepared to feel sudden grief and know that it is normal for the grief to ebb and flow.
• Grief changes and transforms you. You will be a different person emotionally, physically, and mentally. It is okay to change. Be aware that it might happen and embrace the new you.
• People don’t know what to say or do when you have lost someone. Grief and death are not discussed easily in our culture. Tell your friends and family what you need and want during your period of grief. They will be thankful, if you can tell them what to do to help you and you will get the help you need, when you need it.
• Life will not be normal. Your schedule and routines may change. Try to keep as much structure as you can and minimize the amount of change until you have passed through your grief. Now is not the time to make major changes.
• Grief brings opportunity for growth. Look for it. Direct your thoughts forward. Grief is a healing process.

The compassionate professionals at Berndt-Ledesma Funeral Home are experts in the grieving process. Don't hesitate to call. They are there for you.